Training Wall

A week ago, a Med Student and I were talking about running and how people think that if you are a runner things just seem to flow on each run but if they were runners, they would know just how far from the truth that statement really is. Today, I may have had my worst run ever and with just 15 days from the LA marathon, it couldn’t be more discouraging and what was even more discouraging was I generally have a way of working my way out of bad runs. I am generally terrible at the beginning of all my runs but by the second half, I can pull it together but today felt like I was running the second half of a marathon when things go to shit and you can’t run another step but you keep trying to convince yourself that all you need to do is put one foot in front of the other but today my mind, my body and spirit were not up to it and before I knew it, I was dragging and going slower and slower and my legs were like lead. At one point, I thought I was running with a refrigerator on my back. I stopped probably 7 times to try and get it together but mostly because I needed to and couldn’t run anymore. All my years of running, I never thought I would need to pull out of the Marathon but during my run today, I thought there is no way in hell I can make it through the race feeling the way I did.

Few days ago, I watched the 2014 recap video the Ultra Du Mont Blanc race in Chamonix, France. 103 miles up the alps with elevation gains that could be deadly for the average runner but people do each year. One of those people is Anton Kuprika who is one of the top ultra-runners in the world and after having to pull out of the race in 2013 around mile 70 because of injury, he was attempting to run the race for the second year in a row in 2014. He went out hard the first half and hit a major wall. Anton wasn’t feeling good at all. He couldn’t eat and he was on the verge of calling it quits but he decided to take a nap and when he got up, he felt better and his stomach was settled and he was able to eat some food and before long, he was back up and running and he able to finish the race for the first time. This is a guy that has won hundred mile races before and 20-30 miles are walks in the park for him but on this day, it just was not working but as he put it in the video, he does these races to challenge himself and to see how far he could push it and not necessarily to win.

The reason why I continue to run the LA marathon is because I know I will need to go through hell and at some point I know I will need to challenge myself to go beyond the pain, beyond the exhaustion and beyond my limits. People often question why I would put myself through that but it is such a great feeling when you are in the moment and you are trying to find that unknown factor to get you through that part of the race when you just feel like you can’t take another step but you have 10 miles to go and you have one only one decision in my mind and that is the finish line. How do you do it? It doesn’t matter but you have to finish. You may lose some toenails, you may be severely dehydrated, you may have to run through the worst pain ever but if you cross the finish line, you then know you can accomplish any and everything.

Miles hurt but quitting hurts even more!

This sport can be unkind

While I was out on my so called long run on Saturday, I started thinking about blogging. The first thing that came to mind was just hard this running shit can be. It was 85 plus degrees Saturday and here I was out running at noon time. I stuffed my small hydration pack with a large bottle of half frozen water and I carried another bottle of cold water to pour over my head to try and keep my body cool. You always know the level of heat when you are the only nut job out running and around the places where most runners should be. I struggled from the first five steps until the final steps of the lame ten and a half miles I ran. Why would anyone put themselves through the agony you ask? Sometimes I am not sure but I continue to try and win this battle between runner and all that stands in our way and I have no idea why but each year it has been a struggle to just make it to the starting line of the LA Marathon but somehow I do only to struggle through the race.

Why run in 85 degree heat you ask, I don’t think I had a choice. I was having the best training runs ever through Christmas and just when the New Year hit, the flu hit me. Not much I could do except waive the white flag and just deal with it. 2 weeks of nothing but agony and no exercise or running. When I finally felt like I could walk without my lungs feeling like they were going to collapse, I took off for a run I was away for work up in Monterey. I managed 6.2 miles but it felt like 20.2 but I knew I had to start somewhere and when I was just thinking this would be the climb back up that mileage ladder, I woke up days later feeling like someone or something was trying to tell me that I am not running this marathon. This time around, I didn’t have the flu but I had a small cold that was bad enough to keep me from running another week and a half. It has taken a lot of mental energy to stay positive and focused on what I need to do but I kept telling myself that I have done this race enough times now that I having nothing to fear but one of the bad things about having run this race multiple times is that I am no longer fooled by anything. I know the course, I know the miles, I know the pain I will need to ignore and I know what to expect so for me, the training becomes that much harder.

I began to analyze my strategy and how I plan to succeed without being able to achieve the time and goal I had a few months ago but then I have days like today where I’d planned to rest and do nothing but something told me to lace up the shoes and I did and things just clicked. My legs were a bit tired but I was in a groove and a flow. Sometimes when you are starting back with running after any kind of layoff, the hardest thing to establish is the flow and groove you may have had before which is so important. When I am in a groove, I can just run and feel like I am out there enjoying the run and feeling like I can go as far as I want but for the last few weeks, it has been the opposite. Most of my runs have been tough from the outset. I consider myself a second half runner so I generally suck in the first part of my runs or races but I am able to just fight through that and put it all together but for some reason my last few runs have been pure grit and me just trying to grind it out. That is no way to run and no way to enjoy running at all so I am glad I went out today. This is why this sport is just so damn tough. No run is ever alike. You have many ups and plenty of downs and sometimes it doesn’t work or it is hard and you are just incredibly frustrated and most of all challenged beyond your limits but for me, there is never any doubt or the word quit in my mind.

I am not sure what or how I will do this coming marathon but I know that I will be at the starting line and I will make it to the finish line as always. I am hoping for a little magic in the race to give me that extra boost.

Greatest of All Time

We all reach for inspiration and the motivation to keep lacing up our shoes day in and day out. Since I started running in 2004, I have used my Dad as my inspiration and then along the way I found little things here and there. I have always been a solo runner. I was never really into running in a group. I always felt like I could get it done alone but when I least expected it, I had a runner partner that I call GOAT (greatest of all time). I thought I was a good runner, I thought I was fast, and I thought no one was tougher but GOAT proved me wrong. It started out as just a simple run and it blossomed. I cheered GOAT on at races even if we running different distances, I knew where they were at all times.

When we hit the trails, I just knew I had the edge but GOAT had me pegged. GOAT could climb hills like no other and I could only sit back and watch in shame. Nothing I could do worked. I was challenged day in and day out. I had met my match in the running world. What a combo we were out on the road or on the trail. I had someone who pushed me in every possible way and even though I said I would never team up, I did and I enjoyed it. There came a time when GOAT could no longer run and it left me in a world of confusion. I think in 2012 and 2013, I lost a lot of my edge and I lost my drive and I lost that feeling I once had when I had that running partner who challenged me and who I knew would be out there running either alongside me or somewhere out on the course. I really found myself void of that desire and hunger to run but I kept at it and it was tough. I never gave up on a race but my passion and my performance suffered. I had to finally come to grips that I would have to find a way to get back to running solo like I did for so many years and it was hard.

Most would ask why I am even writing this blog but one, it is my blog and two, when I laced up my shoes today, half of me wanted to just stay home and do nothing. For about two miles I just felt like I was running with a refrigerator on my back. I was tired and I was running in a rut and I had the goal of running 8 miles and I was huffing and puffing like a person who smoked two packs of cigarettes. I thought back to the days of when GOAT ran with me and watching the passion and desire in which they ran with and how they made it look so easy. I remember how I missed those days of having that partner besides me and challenging me each step. I don’t think they really knew how important to me they really were. As I kept running, I got stronger and stronger today and I felt like I wasn’t even running anymore. I just enjoyed being out in the sun and running up and down hills and into and around neighborhoods. I felt strong and energized and I felt like I could go and go. All in all, I cranked out 9 and a half miles when I planned on 8 and early on I really felt like I would be able to get maybe 3 miles or maybe 4.

I am writing this blog more for me. Sometimes I need to look back at what got me to this point but more importantly to thank those who helped me along the way. They will be out there with me each and every day.

Sometimes God hands us gifts from above that changes our lives forever…

My Friend For Miles

Holiday’s always bring back memories. Some good, some bad but nonetheless they are memories and we need memories to remind us what is most important to us like our real friends and our family. I wrote about my friend Rhiannon Meier in 2010. Rhiannon was a great friend and an amazingly spirited person and on December 9th, 2007 she was killed by a drunk driver. I sit here more than 6 years later remembering what an incredible friend Rhiannon was.

When it came to running, I was still a novice if you ask me but around the time I met Rhiannon, things started to click. I was accepted to run the NY marathon in November of that year and Rhiannon was probably more excited about me running the race than I was. She had been toying with the idea of running the LA marathon so I agreed to go running with her which was a huge commitment because I hated getting up early in the morning and Rhiannon wanted to go running at 6am. I had to drive and meet her down in Santa Monica at her place right around Ocean Blvd which just happened to be my favorite spot to run. She was a beginner runner in senses of the word but I didn’t mind. We got a chance to run and talk about her job and we got to know each other better. No one supported me more than Rhiannon. I recall her coming to a 5k of mines and I was so embarrassed. She screamed, shouted and cheered for me as I crossed the finished line and I remember thinking she really is a good friend to get up early and come sit and cheer for someone running a 5k especially since my own family barely came and supported me at anything. When it came time got to NY for the Marathon, Rhiannon insisted on taking me to the airport because she said it was a special occasion and she wanted to see me off. When I look back at all the love and support she gave me and that is something that I truly miss but what I miss more is my friend.

In 2007, Rhiannon started training with the LA leggers so that she could get in a group that ran a comfortable pace for the 2008 LA Marathon. She bugged me over and over to come join her one Saturday with the leggers. I agreed and I remember it being the longest Saturday ever because she was in the 11 minute run group. They ran and walked and that day we were doing 9 miles but sometimes friends sacrifice for friends. Rhiannon always supported me so I did the same. I had never seen her so happy and ready to run the marathon in March. Well, she never got that chance. What that drunk driver took was my friend and a person who lived life each and every day with a smile on her face and she would do anything for you if you asked her to and sometimes when you didn’t ask. My friend isn’t coming back but I always said that I would keep her memory alive by talking about her and remembering her each time I lace up my shoes for the Marathon. I know she is still there cheering me on every mile and at the finish line.

I was never a big cliché person but I do believe people never get the flowers while they can still smell them. If you get the chance to tell someone you love them or care about them, don’t wait because you never know what tomorrow may bring and those who do not understand that, don’t deserve to be in your circle.
Great people only come around once in a lifetime….

Running Season is back!!

I seem to always write about running 5k’s and I am back to talk about it again. Today I was back running a 5k at the Jet to the Jetty 5k down in Playa Del Rey. I ran this race in 2012 and just skipped running in in 2013. The course is a course I have run several times so there is little to the imagination to this course but there has always been a mystery to running the 5k no matter the course or how many you’ve run. Early when I began running ages ago, I just ran the race without thinking too much. Then I came up with all these strategies which really did not work and I got into a habit of trying to run out front with the pack and there was someone in the race where I just burnt out and couldn’t recover and in a 5k, there is little to no time to recover. In 2010, I was running an average 22 minute 5k and I won my division a few times and then I just fell apart. I was doing more trail runs and longer and grittier races and really did little to no speed work so when I did run a 5k, I couldn’t’ get back to the formula that helped me run at my best and my ego was too big to just lay back and run from the back but today, I returned back to my old form. I biked to the race so I would have a nice warm-up which made me conscious of trying to conserve my energy. I felt so relaxed when the race started because I was in the back and ran around the slower people and really I was able to just gauge my tempo and what pace felt good and before I knew it, we were on the turnaround going the long stretch towards miles 2. I saw a guy I had not seen in years and he is an older guy who runs with a shuffle as if he has no knees but he runs at a very consistent pace. I remember never being able to pass the guy in several races until the later part of the race. The guy whos name is Bullet by the way, was up about 20 yards and I resisted the urge to pass him right away. Instead, I decided to lay back and find my groove and before I knew it, I was slowly creeping on him and it wasn’t long before I passed him and once I passed bullet, I passed a few other people. This is a part of the race where there is about a mile and some change left and occasionally I have just slowed and slowed and that is the worst because you end up being caught by all the people you passed up but today, I kept my composure and told myself to just keep pushing and stay smooth. I had one guy to beat and once I got passed him and saw that he had nothing left in the tank, I was home free.

I missed running 22 minutes by 16 seconds but I was more pleased with the fact that I ran the race I had been trying to get back to running. After the race, bullet came up to me and said I looked like I was in a groove and I ran a perfect race. I knew that laying back in the beginning is what helped. I never felt rushed in this race. I felt a bit of fatigue in the end and I knew that came from biking to the race but I will take it. When it all comes together in a race, you don’t worry about the time or anything else. It is about the satisfaction you get from running hard and running to your capabilities. I learned that I had to go back to the beginning to get me back on track.
Coming back to form!

Keep those Legs Turning

I can’t stand to hear my own voice on an answering machine and I generally hate reading things that I wrote but since my running blog is all about my trials and tribulations, I thought it would be go back and read about my serious tribulations at the Malibu Creek 22k race. After reading my post Malibu Creek race blogs, I get that this race has not been to kind to me but I returned today to blog about my race performance at the race this past Saturday on a positive note for a change. Since 2011, it has been no secret that this race has just kicked my ass. There really are no positives at all but this year, I had to stop and think of what was wrong with my running and where was I struggling and I realized that in 2010 and 2011, I was averaging about 14 running events per year. I was in such a great groove, running probably at least a race each month and sometimes two weekends in a row but that production fell in 2012 and 2013 and my overall -running fitness fell and my running times suffered tremendously. I was second guessing myself in every race and lacked the confidence I once had. It is no secret that running is about volume and my volume shrank. I was running maybe 1 day a week and occasionally on the weekends and trust me that just does not work. So this year, I went back the drawing board and challenged myself to get back to running a high volume of races and doing more training days and this past Saturday, I was able to finally finish the Malibu Creek 22k with a smile on my face but it still remains my ultimate challenge so far.

In the last month, I have run about four 5k’s. 3 5k’s in consecutive weekends. People will say 5k is nothing and they are right but in order to excel at higher distances, you need to do speed work and hill work. It is a fact. This is what allowed me to have a lot of success in 2010 and 2011 and I went away from that. It certainly was not easy just jumping back into running 5k’s for time. You just don’t show up and start running a 7 minute mile and in fact I realized I could barely run a 8 minute mile for 3 miles but with work, it was slowly coming back. In a 5k, you have to learn to pace yourself and keep it together for a sustained period of time. Go out too fast in the race and you could be sucking wind for 2 miles but the goal is to know when and where to push it. These things all transfer to running the higher distances. I was not sure how well prepared I would be for Malibu because even though I was building back my speed and endurance, I just had not spent enough time on the trails so what I was banking on was that I had been running a high volume. I had a lot of nerves about the race because 14 miles on a trail no matter where you are is no small feat and at Malibu once you are up at a certain point, you are simply at the mercy of no man’s land.

When the race started, I just stuck with my own pace and three quarters of a mile the first hill arrives and the sun was blasting already and I could tell what type race it would be but I stuck to my plan and took that first hill at a conservative pace and kept it pretty casual. When we hit mile 3, I was feeling a little sluggish but that is all due to not sleeping well the entire week due to heat and mile 3 to 4 starts the Bulldog part of the trail that can send people home in a body bag. The crowd of runners were starting to slow considerably and people who looked like they would be ripping it up were reduced to slow turtle like walkers. I was dripping sweat and felt hot as hell but continued to drink my fluids and pressed and pressed and once we got to the top of Bulldog, I had memories of last year when I started cramping and thinking how am I going to go 8 more miles like this but not this year. I took the downhill to mile 7 feeling calm and relaxed. When we went back up, I was expecting to feel tired but I was feeling inspired and strong and when I hit mile 8 and realized that I was still strong and passing runners left and right, I knew this was a different year.

I embraced trail, I enjoyed the scenery and I allowed myself to enjoy the moment. At mile 10 when the race goes downhill for about 2 miles, I took off like a rocket passing another 15 runners. At one point, I was running with no one in sight and when I took that exit out of the park where you run part of the road with oncoming cars, I felt like this is the race I had hoped for but I knew the uphill at mile 13 was coming. It was here that I was just spent but still in a good place mentally and I gave it what I had and when I crossed that finish line, I thought shit, I didn’t cramp or anything. I had a goal of running 2:30 or 2:40 but finished 2:57 but it really wasn’t about the time. This race was about re-establishing that feeling of knowing that I can power through anything and more importantly I had fun. As I sit here today, a little bruised and tired, I feel like I am about to go on a running tear and I am so energized to get back to doing what I love and that is competing and enjoying life to the fullest!!

Only way to conquer a mountain is to go over the top of it!!

Eleven is 11 in My Book

As I sit here today moving at the pace of a turtle, I get a chance to reflect on the yesterday’s LA Marathon. It easy for me to talk about disappointment and discontent for my finishing time but yesterday morning about an hour about a half from the race start yesterday, I was sitting in the halls of dodger stadium just resting and trying to calm my mind and my nerves and not wanting to be bothered when an older guy sat down next to me with a cup of coffee and a donut. I thought maybe he was there to cheer someone on. He had on the basic of all running shorts, regular t shirt and a hat but I noticed his bib said Legacy Runner. He was one of the 100 or so men and women who have completed all 29 marathons since its inception which a feat that I have been marveled with since learning this group existed.

The legacy runner asked me how many races I had done and when I told him this would be 11th in a row, he remarked how cool it was. As I worried about finish time and running a certain pace, I realize how much this race was about something entirely different. The legacy runner was telling me that a few weeks back he’d fallen and hurt his knee and that he really had not recovered so he was a bit worried about the race but that he would crawl to the finish line if he had to. His goal, was to just finish in a predicted 8 hours because he would be forced to walk at this stage of his life but it was the dedication and the resolve that he represents that reminded me why I am out there and what matters most and that is to enjoy each mile like it is your last because in some senses, you never know what tomorrow brings.

Yesterday’s race was amazing in the first half. We had low temperatures and some cloud cover. Things were turning out better than I’d imagined but I was starting to feel a little fatigued already at mile 9 which let me know this would be a dogfight but I was prepared. When we got to mile 12, it seemed like the earth turned and the sun then blasted through and blast it did. I felt like I was running on the sun and my pace slowed minute by minute. By mile 17, I was spent and I began to walk a bit here and there and when we hit mile 18, I knew the finish was near but still far from it. At that point, I just enjoyed in the fact that I had the opportunity to finish another marathon and how blessed I am to be in this position. The clock reads out what time you finish but none of that matters. What matters most of knowing you left it all out there and you did not give up. I hope and wish the legacy runner I met finished well and I hope one day I will be able to attach the word legacy to my name in some capacity.


Learn to crawl first before you run!!