Training Wall

A week ago, a Med Student and I were talking about running and how people think that if you are a runner things just seem to flow on each run but if they were runners, they would know just how far from the truth that statement really is. Today, I may have had my worst run ever and with just 15 days from the LA marathon, it couldn’t be more discouraging and what was even more discouraging was I generally have a way of working my way out of bad runs. I am generally terrible at the beginning of all my runs but by the second half, I can pull it together but today felt like I was running the second half of a marathon when things go to shit and you can’t run another step but you keep trying to convince yourself that all you need to do is put one foot in front of the other but today my mind, my body and spirit were not up to it and before I knew it, I was dragging and going slower and slower and my legs were like lead. At one point, I thought I was running with a refrigerator on my back. I stopped probably 7 times to try and get it together but mostly because I needed to and couldn’t run anymore. All my years of running, I never thought I would need to pull out of the Marathon but during my run today, I thought there is no way in hell I can make it through the race feeling the way I did.

Few days ago, I watched the 2014 recap video the Ultra Du Mont Blanc race in Chamonix, France. 103 miles up the alps with elevation gains that could be deadly for the average runner but people do each year. One of those people is Anton Kuprika who is one of the top ultra-runners in the world and after having to pull out of the race in 2013 around mile 70 because of injury, he was attempting to run the race for the second year in a row in 2014. He went out hard the first half and hit a major wall. Anton wasn’t feeling good at all. He couldn’t eat and he was on the verge of calling it quits but he decided to take a nap and when he got up, he felt better and his stomach was settled and he was able to eat some food and before long, he was back up and running and he able to finish the race for the first time. This is a guy that has won hundred mile races before and 20-30 miles are walks in the park for him but on this day, it just was not working but as he put it in the video, he does these races to challenge himself and to see how far he could push it and not necessarily to win.

The reason why I continue to run the LA marathon is because I know I will need to go through hell and at some point I know I will need to challenge myself to go beyond the pain, beyond the exhaustion and beyond my limits. People often question why I would put myself through that but it is such a great feeling when you are in the moment and you are trying to find that unknown factor to get you through that part of the race when you just feel like you can’t take another step but you have 10 miles to go and you have one only one decision in my mind and that is the finish line. How do you do it? It doesn’t matter but you have to finish. You may lose some toenails, you may be severely dehydrated, you may have to run through the worst pain ever but if you cross the finish line, you then know you can accomplish any and everything.

Miles hurt but quitting hurts even more!

This sport can be unkind

While I was out on my so called long run on Saturday, I started thinking about blogging. The first thing that came to mind was just hard this running shit can be. It was 85 plus degrees Saturday and here I was out running at noon time. I stuffed my small hydration pack with a large bottle of half frozen water and I carried another bottle of cold water to pour over my head to try and keep my body cool. You always know the level of heat when you are the only nut job out running and around the places where most runners should be. I struggled from the first five steps until the final steps of the lame ten and a half miles I ran. Why would anyone put themselves through the agony you ask? Sometimes I am not sure but I continue to try and win this battle between runner and all that stands in our way and I have no idea why but each year it has been a struggle to just make it to the starting line of the LA Marathon but somehow I do only to struggle through the race.

Why run in 85 degree heat you ask, I don’t think I had a choice. I was having the best training runs ever through Christmas and just when the New Year hit, the flu hit me. Not much I could do except waive the white flag and just deal with it. 2 weeks of nothing but agony and no exercise or running. When I finally felt like I could walk without my lungs feeling like they were going to collapse, I took off for a run I was away for work up in Monterey. I managed 6.2 miles but it felt like 20.2 but I knew I had to start somewhere and when I was just thinking this would be the climb back up that mileage ladder, I woke up days later feeling like someone or something was trying to tell me that I am not running this marathon. This time around, I didn’t have the flu but I had a small cold that was bad enough to keep me from running another week and a half. It has taken a lot of mental energy to stay positive and focused on what I need to do but I kept telling myself that I have done this race enough times now that I having nothing to fear but one of the bad things about having run this race multiple times is that I am no longer fooled by anything. I know the course, I know the miles, I know the pain I will need to ignore and I know what to expect so for me, the training becomes that much harder.

I began to analyze my strategy and how I plan to succeed without being able to achieve the time and goal I had a few months ago but then I have days like today where I’d planned to rest and do nothing but something told me to lace up the shoes and I did and things just clicked. My legs were a bit tired but I was in a groove and a flow. Sometimes when you are starting back with running after any kind of layoff, the hardest thing to establish is the flow and groove you may have had before which is so important. When I am in a groove, I can just run and feel like I am out there enjoying the run and feeling like I can go as far as I want but for the last few weeks, it has been the opposite. Most of my runs have been tough from the outset. I consider myself a second half runner so I generally suck in the first part of my runs or races but I am able to just fight through that and put it all together but for some reason my last few runs have been pure grit and me just trying to grind it out. That is no way to run and no way to enjoy running at all so I am glad I went out today. This is why this sport is just so damn tough. No run is ever alike. You have many ups and plenty of downs and sometimes it doesn’t work or it is hard and you are just incredibly frustrated and most of all challenged beyond your limits but for me, there is never any doubt or the word quit in my mind.

I am not sure what or how I will do this coming marathon but I know that I will be at the starting line and I will make it to the finish line as always. I am hoping for a little magic in the race to give me that extra boost.