My Sanity is My Insanity

I remember Mike Tyson saying crazy like “my Sanity is My insanity”. Whatever he meant, he understood it even if no one else understands it that is ok because it's Mike Tyson. How much information must you consume before you go on system overload? That is what I had to ask myself the other day. When I first started running in 2004, I was new to running in every possible way. I labeled myself a running idiot. The best thing about being a running idiot is that you know nothing but you think you know everything. From the first marathon to the second, I stumbled my way through races, escaping with black and blue toenails and quads that felt like someone had beat them with a baseball bat. Sounds horrible right? Wrong!

I had no clue as to what socks to wear, over-pronation, hydration, vo2 max and so on and that was the best part about it. I just put on whatever shoes I had and I went out and I ran. I ran in cargo shorts, swim trunks, it didn’t matter. Blinded and an infant in the game of running, I just went out and learned on the fly but I was starting to get greedy. I took a look around my living room the other day it resembled that of a running store. I had stacks of runner’s magazines and various books on running all my coffee table. Running shoes all over the place, race event flyers on my refrigerator, and race medals piled high on my end table. Too make matters worse I have a giant poster board photo of myself from my Saucony sponsorship talking about what else, running!

Over the last three years, I learned everything there is to know about hydration, 5k training, injury prevention, how to run faster, or how to be a better uphill runner. I have technical shirts, the dri-fit hats, the best socks, and what has it all done? Nothing! I sat around weeks before some running events, trying to calculate past running times, and negative splits, and what shoes to wear given the race, and whether I should run with my hydration pack or not. I studied the weather so I would know what the weather would be on the day of the race or at least try to estimate so I could assimilate the race and its affect it may have on me if it was hot or cold. I have done so much preparation and planning and plotting on how to run better but the simplest thing I forgot how to do is to just run like an idiot.

When I ran like an idiot, time didn’t matter. When I ran like an idiot, I ran from the back of the pack, the front, the middle, I just ran. If I came in 50th place or 20th place, the result was always the same and that was me crossing the line with a smile and finishing strong. Lately, I have shut down in a race because I calculated the odds of finishing within a certain time and when I realize I had no chance of capturing that time, I just called it and cruised in, unhappy and my spirit broken.

I am competitive, that I know but I did not go into running with the idea I was going to win the Boston marathon but I think I always remember that saying “no one aspires to be second” and then I have to remember that is not what running is about. It is about lacing up the shoes and heading out the door and ending up wherever you end up. I think I need to just take my Runner’s World magazines and running books and diaries and just throw them in the trash. I need to forget about everything I have read and everything I think I know and just go back to being the idiot I once was. Easier said than done right? We will see……